Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Randomize