Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
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