Don't you send me to vm
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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