You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Randomize
