That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Randomize
