Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
