Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
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