I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Randomize
