Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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