i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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