ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
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