Cold hands, warm shart.
Please, let me fuck your mom
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
