he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize