goodnight i made you a song goodbye
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
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