I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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