Tap Here to view the Mobile Optimized TFLN
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Randomize
Follow @tfln