Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(843): View more from South Carolina

the red head has a bf

(1-843): View more from South Carolina

just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score

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(843): the red head has a bf (1-843): just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score http://tfl.nu/bdta

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(508): View more from Massachusetts

Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.

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(508): Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend. http://tfl.nu/c0jn

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(312): View more from Illinois

Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.

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(312): Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer. http://tfl.nu/54ng

Replies (19) Good night (7945) Bad night (705)
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(713): View more from Texas

yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.

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(713): yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn. http://tfl.nu/bp9j

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(508): View more from Massachusetts

this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson

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(508): this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson http://tfl.nu/oc0q

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(210): View more from Texas

After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.

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(210): After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving. http://tfl.nu/pl4c

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(864): View more from South Carolina

Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.

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(864): Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you. http://tfl.nu/wybw

Replies (6) Good night (3375) Bad night (697)
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(319): View more from Iowa

My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.

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(319): My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home. http://tfl.nu/nin0

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(214): View more from Texas

What do you think it is?

(615): View more from Tennessee

It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.

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(214): What do you think it is? (615): It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow. http://tfl.nu/3ng4

Replies (12) Good night (4873) Bad night (1440)
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(940): View more from Texas

This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing

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(940): This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing http://tfl.nu/18y7

Replies (9) Good night (2294) Bad night (871)
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(707): View more from California

And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa

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(707): And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa http://tfl.nu/9onc

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(415): View more from California

There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.

(415): View more from California

No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans

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(415): There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest. (415): No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans http://tfl.nu/liuw

Replies (13) Good night (4390) Bad night (688)
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(714): View more from California

Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.

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(714): Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume. http://tfl.nu/yo6q

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(248): View more from Michigan

I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer

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(248): I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer http://tfl.nu/yuzp

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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.

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(717): After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again. http://tfl.nu/ujp5

Replies (0) Good night (523) Bad night (717)

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