please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
