That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I pour the whiskey from now on
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
