carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Randomize
