if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
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