you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
