you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
