Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
I don't deserve a penis
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
