just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Randomize
