it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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