sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
