it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Also, beer. Big fan.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Randomize
