I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
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Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
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I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
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