After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Randomize
