I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
