Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
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