we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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