I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
