Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
