508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
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