So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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