Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
