I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
Randomize
