nutella sex= disaster
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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