I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
