You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize