He had one of those small greek statue penises
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
