Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Randomize
