Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
