Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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