bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
