at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
Randomize
