when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
Randomize
