You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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