That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
