You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
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