No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
