it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
I enjoy the company of your penis
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
