Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
