happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
We talked him into tasing himself.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Randomize
