It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Randomize
