He asked to "fluff my boner.."
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize
