The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Randomize
