My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
No more Irish car bombs ever.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
Randomize
