At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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