I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
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