Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
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He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
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I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
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