well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Randomize
