at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Randomize
